Time Stands Still
by Antharyn
Summary: Gin comes back for something. Izuru doesn't know what to say.


I don't remember the walk to the 5th Division Headquarters being this long before. But then again it has never been like this. Not in the dead of night and never for the reason that now has me navigating the labyrinth of Seireitei on trembling knees. It feels like I'm walking toward certain death, like time has slowed down all of a sudden and only I am capable of motion while everything around me stops.

But then…

He's always had this effect on me—always—and some things just don't change, not even after all that has happened.

A shiver crawls up my spine and I freeze outside Aizen's office, suddenly unable to breathe. I'm standing here at the threshold though I might as well be standing on the edge of a cliff. Do I knock? Do I call for him? What do I say?

The seconds tick by. I should leave. I should never have come here. It's not too late…it's not…

"Come in…Izuru."

His voice is soft like warm caramel and it slides over my skin the way the shoji slides along its track as I open it to find him standing there, in his former Captain's office, like he had every right to.

As if he had never betrayed Soul Society.

His back is to me, white garb in stark contrast to the darkness of the room, and I gaze fascinated at the absence of the number three. No longer a Captain, I tell myself. He's no longer _my_ Captain. He's a traitor. A traitor.

Liar.

"_Maa_, Izuru. Ya found me." He's looking at me now, staring at me across Aizen's desk, his hands tucked into his sleeves. He's calm, looking faintly amused, as if he weren't standing in the middle of enemy territory and as if he was my Captain again, waiting for me to give him the latest report or give him an important document to sign. As if nothing's changed. Am I trembling? I think I am—with rage, maybe…or fear. Whatever it is, it grips me, coursing through my veins and muscles until it's a loud roaring in my ear, almost making miss out what he says next. "My reiatsu's suppressed to its limit, I din't think anyone would sense it…unless they was lookin' fer it in particular, o'course."

His smile widens. Wabisuke's energy pulses in the room, reminding me of her presence. She knows. She knows I was looking for him. Waiting for him just like how they're both waiting for me to say something now. I know they are, but I can't for the life of me think of what to say. What do you say to the person who betrayed everything you have ever believed in and made you _help_? I could ask him why…but to what end? I had never understood the workings of his mind and I don't think I ever will. But why get me into this? Why not kill me? Why, Ichimaru-taichou? Why? My hands are shaking now. I still feel the shame from my actions that day, the day my life turned upside down in a matter of hours. Hinamori-san…Renji-kun…I will never redeem myself. But the least I can do is try.

My hand barely touches Wabisuke's hilt when he disappears in a blur of motion. Panic grips me. Too fast! The door…when did it become so far away? He reappears in a flash and before I know it I'm on my back on the floor with him on top of me, pinning each of my wrists on either side of my head. Wabisuke wails as she clatters to the floor and out of my reach and that's it, I know—I've lost.

My body trembles at the familiarity of his sliding over me to settle comfortably between my legs. His lips are cold on my skin, his breath freezing and burning me at the same time. I want to say something, to tell him to stop, but it's like there's a dam bottling me up so I don't say a word. Neither of us do. I stare unseeing at the ceiling as he continues touching me and pulling me apart with deft and practiced fingers. I never stood a chance.

His face looms over mine all of a sudden and I blink. My clothes are half off me by now and he has touched my everywhere. Yet seeing his face only inches from mine…I feel the panic that left me the minute he had me on the floor start to seep in again.

"Ya ever tell him about us, Izuru?" He opens his eyes then and I gasp. Time seems to stop all over again as I freeze under that red gaze. He knows. He knows. How could he possibly know? Unless… No! He was sleeping when I left. Ichimaru was here the whole time. He's safe at home. He _has_ to be. My heart is pounding against my chest now, threatening to burst. He's safe. He's safe. Please let him be safe.

I don't realize I'm crying until he thumbs the tears away with his fingers. I sob and try to turn away but he won't let me. His eyes close, he leans in…at last I find my voice. "Don't." It's barely above a whisper but he stops, his cold lips a breath away from mine and I beg. "Please…don't…" I beg and struggle, desperately twisting under him and kicking out until something cold and sharp presses against my throat makes me stop. It's Shinsou. I can almost hear Wabisuke scream.

"Please…" I say again, looking up at him, ceasing to struggle. At least, physically. He isn't smiling now and that has never been a good sign. I gasp as Shinsou digs deeper into my skin. He's going to kill me. Fresh tears well up from deep inside me and I close my eyes and let them fall. I feel the bite of the blade breaking the skin, feel my blood trickle down the wound. I can't breathe and I stiffen from the pain but I don't struggle.

It will only hurt more.

_Ichimaru-taichou…_

I gasp as his weight suddenly leaves me, cool air replacing his warmth. Wabisuke's energy pulses again but the only movement I make is to cover my wound to stem the blood flow. He's up and on the other side of the room by Aizen's desk again, silver hair glinting in the moonlight, his back facing me. My neck hurts and I'm bleeding. I lie there and just watch him, not understanding. He didn't kill me. What is going on?

"Ah, there ya are." He says and he turns back to me. I scramble to get up and face him but stop when I see what he is holding.

A small can of tea leaves. He smiles, waving it in front of my face and stare at it, shocked. "Aizen-sama's favorite tea." is all he says as if it's enough of an explanation. Why he came back, why he's here in the middle of Seireitei…he came all this way to get Aizen his tea. If I could I would have laughed but strangely I want to cry. _He came all this way to get Aizen his tea._ I suddenly can't stand looking at him and I lower my gaze to his feet.

"He misses it, is all." He continues. I don't care. And then… "We're all missin' somethin' over there." There's a wistful tone I don't want to hear in his voice as he says it and I bite my lip to keep from asking. I won't ask him what he's missing. I really don't want to know.

"Ne, Izuru…" I look up at the sound of my name. He's staring at me. And he isn't smiling. I start to tremble thinking this is it, he's going to kill me now. But Shinsou stays in his sheathe and he opens his eyes once more.

"I ain't yer Captain n'more."

He smiles and I blink. It takes a moment for his words to sink it. _Ichimaru-taichou…_ Had I said that out loud? He's still smiling and I look away, ashamed.

When I look up again he is gone and I am alone. Here it is again, that feeling of time slowing down. The walk back home is harder all of a sudden and Shuuhei's voice is garbled and hard to understand as he pulls me towards him and covers the wound on my neck with his warm hands. Relief floods through me. That he's safe is all I can think of as I lean into his embrace.

Time stops again only this time I am not the one capable of motion as I watch my lover frantically look for something to stop the bleeding.

Time stops and this time I'm the one left behind.

_Ichimaru…taichou... _


End file.
